Finally in text form, the infamous personal ad!
Read this in the frame of mind of a single female.. looking for a nice guy.. reading ad after ad of simple "SWM Seeks Down-to-earth, loving, woman, etcetcetc".. in their midwest singles paper.. and then...
this gem appears....
MAYNARD, MINNESOTA
The real Saddam Hussein is 'the king of the north' of Daniel chapter 11, verses 13-19. My text is always the beloved 1611 King James translation of the Holy Bible that was translated in the year 1611 by holy men of God. Hosni Mubarak is 'the king of the south' of those same verses. 'And in those time there shall many stand up against the king of the south:...' from Daniel 11:14. The key word is the word 'many'. Meaning that many nations shall stand up against Egypt. So Iraq will have ally nations on its side when Iraq attacks Egypt. I'm a SWM, 42, who wants to meet a SWF. I had a good time at Norsefest talent contest in Madison, MN on Nov. 12th. I got the correct answer when I squared a 6-digit number in my head without a calculator. That was my talent act that I did on stage. For background music: 'Cest la faute a la vie' by Patricia Kaas. It was recorded in 2003 in France. Another song that I like so much is 'Une question de temps...' Have a happy 2007 new year. I think so highly of Patricia Kaas. I've ordered alot more of her CD's including: 'Tour de charm'.
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I love how he just JUMPS out of the gate to catch your eye... goes on and on... then.. suddenly.. lapses into typical personal ad "I'm a SWM, 42, who wants to meet a SWF." before remembering that he has more interesting things to say.
As Cap'n John put it for the rest of the trip whenever he'd see a female human: "Hey baby.. I got the correct answer when I squared a 6-digit number in my head without a calculator. That was my talent act that I did on stage. Wanna make out?"
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1 comment:
I've updated my profile on OkCupid using Maynard's highly original and effective model, although I had to leave out the section about math expertise, since I lack the obsession, er ability to square 6-digit numbers in my head.
On a less satirical note, I found the same personals newspaper at two rest stops on my way out to South Dakota this weekend. Will send a photo of the vending box via e-mail.
Keep on truckin'!
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