sickness and health?

well i went to the doctor's again today... i live at fairview..
i got pink eye medicine beause my eye is running and crusty as of last night... so that's great...
anyway... baby is doing really well... i am apparently a couple centimeteres dilated and somewhat effaced- she didn't give me the exact effacement percentage but she said i am getting ready and baby is head down and getting into position...sheesh... almost time!! so we'll see...
she also said that if he is getting super big by next week's measurement..if he's around 8 pounds or so then we are going to schedule a c-section...which is a little nerve wrecking but in some respects i'd rather have that have hi shouldrs get stuck during delivery cuz he's too big... i am actually losing weight being sick...i have lost 8 pounds this week from just eating soup and tea and cocoa and an occasional snack of whatever...been so blah...food have been not too important... hopefully i will feel better soon though...supposed to stay home from work tomorrow too but i may go in if i can finally sleep tonight....and if i feel even a touch better iw ill go in.... although the doctor recommended i should stay home at least one more if not the rest of week!!! what the heck..if only i were rich.... if i felt better i would have been in already!! egads... oh well it's just money...that's all i can worry about now...i cant worry too much right now... it will work out...
::deep breath into paper bag::
hehe
okay...going to rest now.... cross your fingers i feel better and i have a little while before having this baby!!!

jeebus

i am sick and this sucks...
i have been sick now for a week and just sooo tired... i went to the doctor last tuesday and she said it was just a viral cold thing and just to ride it out... i called the doctor and friday and they said just keep doing what i am doing- drink fluids, rest, etc. and then today i went back to the doctor because i just can't breathe and the coughing is killing me and apparently i have a bad case of viral bronchitis...there is nothing a preggers woman can do about it... the treatments they could give me i can't take during pregnancy... so i just get sit and suffer and try not to die....the doctor said i am not allowed to work for a few days because technically i could spread it around plus i can't freakin breathe...i guess its better than pneumonia... but i dunno...
grrr
i go to my regular OB appointment tomorrow and have my weekly ultrasound... yay...i actually have to get an internal exam too..yum... so i have to lay down and be probed while trying not to cough my lungs out...greaaatt....but i guess at this point when i feel so crappy one more thing bothering doesn't really matter...
poor eric has to come with me to the doctor just to translate what i am saying because my voice is so bad at its best and sometimes completely nonexistant or just a barely audible whisper...
i am so tired but can't sleep... so much work to do but can't focus... cleaning/moving around too much makes so tired and wheezy...TV is driving me insane and i can't even talk on the phone or anything because i can't breathe and have no voice!! cripes... this really sucks...
i think work is pissed at me...i have had to take so many days for various doctor's appointments and ailments.... i am supposed to be so cautious... it sucks though cuz they haven't said not to go work entirely but i am supposed to take all this time to "rest" christ!! it sucks for my students and my staff and i know my principal thinks it sucks... just what i need is to get fired... i keep trying to stay ahead and then get whacked with something else...
this baby is coming soon too... so that could be anytime something can happen... egads...
so much stress... and feeling shitty doesn't help at all...
blah
i hope it doesn't take another week to get over like the doctor said today...she said it could be for a whole other week before i get some relief... i will go crazy....
ok
i am done complaining now... i know i am big whiner... sorry....
just have to feel sorry for myself a bit right now... will update tomorrow after appointment if anything of note happens...

pancake's progression

chunky monkey!!!

he's 6lbs and 11oz. now!!! ohmigod!!
he's gained over a pound in two weeks!! i am going to have the world's biggest baby!!!
the doctor seemed to think i will be having him within the next couple of weeks... i mean of course my due date hasn't officially changed but she seemd to think along the same lines as i do that i won't make until the end of march... maybe mid march...maybe st. patrick's day.... who is starting a baby pool?? hehe
we still need a a name...poor child will be nameless... hopefully we can get that figured out soon or at least have a handful of names that we can pick from... and look at him and say he looks like a ...... whatever...
baby seems to be okay though...fat and happy.... hopefully he stays that way...
doctor seemed to think i am doing everything right and that he'll be just fine and all seems well... she also said that say i do go longer than two or three more weeks and he's getting into the 10 pound range they will probably give me a c-section... i would really prefer that not to happen but is it does then ok... just want him to be safe and me to be okay....
okay now for serious stuff... when i have the baby i do not want flowers- i want marshmallow peeps, and chocolate and real cocacola...preferably cherry coke or dr. pepper... not DIET!! i hate diet... but i have had to settle for the occasional diet with the stupid diabetes...blech... the splenda isn't too bad but still not as good as sugar!! that's so sad but i think i will have to stock up for when i get done with being preggers and off course i won't overdue it since i will be nursing but you know i can have an extra cookie or some hot chocolate or some spaghetti and not be paranoid i am hurting the little guy....stupid diabetes...
it surely makes me want to really get healthy when i am done though... as much as i say i want crappy junk food... i want to be around and healthy for my child a lot more... plus it just sucks to be so fat... blah... it will be good to kind of be more aware of what i am eating afterward and maybe that will help with losing the baby weight a bit quicker... we'll see.... maybe he really will be the freakin 60 pound baby like jenny mcarthy jokes about on the weight watchers commercial... he's working on it...but between eric and i it wouldn't surprise me he'll be a good eater... hehe... eric the buffet champ and me with chef... hehe...

speaking of chefdom... i just got anthony bourdain's new book and a book called heat that's upposed to be good.,... dunno when i'll have time to actually read them... but it will be fun... when i do....also i got all inspired to make baklava... you should come and have some this weekend....i figured that's when i'd make it as i certainly can't eat very much...maybe a bite i can have but not really much more than that but it's been awhile since i have actually made that... i am wondering if i can maybe get some cake business going on the side while doing the baby thing this summer.... maybe i won't have time...i dunno but i hate being financially worried...so a bit of extra income always makes me feel better... plus having cake around the house can't be too bad hehe.... baby weight coming off?? hehe

we had a mardi gras party for my students at school today.... they had fun... didn't understand a bit of why we were having king cake that mom sent up...or why they were wqearing beads and what the heck the deal with purple green and gold was but it fun... we made feather masks and jester hats and ate kind cake and threw beads around a bit... but not too much... i don't think they understood it at all.... but it was fun... they all thought the idea of a baby hidden in a cake was really cool and they all liked the cake.... even my pickiest eater asked for another slice!!! can't beat a cinnamon roll basically!! they had a lot of fun..... and it was nice to share that with them...made me even a bit homesick for new orleans.... but then i think of the hassle and stuff and go...eh.... visiting is nice.... hehe

so many loose ends to tie up at school and with my last online class... almost done with things but still have paperwork stuff to finish up...meetings that need to be held and all that... and gotta get sub. stuff together so the person who comes in after me is able to get stuff done with my kids.... sheesh....
then there's researching moving if that's what eric wants to do... but that is going to be his job mainly.... to do intesive research on possible places to go and jobs and schools and such.... we'll see... i have looked into seattle a bit and into northern arizona-flagstaff area... both have good ed. psych. programs i could go into and have environmental type stuff for eric.... cost of living not too terribly bad comparatively.... we'll see...much more looking it needs to be done....
anyway... i need to go to bed... eric comes home from vegas tomorrow!! yay!! makes me relax a bit knowing he'll be home tomorrow in case i need him... plus i gets lonely a bit hehe....

blah blah blah

well eric is in vegas this weekend and i am off of work friday and monday... ::sighs::
very bored...
of course i got all emotional when eric left- you would think he was leaving forever ...cripes..
but i can cry over breat cancer commercials or random things on the radio or anything happy or sad or that could potentially be happy or sad hehe...
i guess i should be happy to be at home alone as mark is in miami too
it's weird having time to myself...but i guess i shouldn't get too comfy with it as i know as soon as pancake arrives i will no longer have a lot of time to myself... but it's weird...
anyway
bored bored bored...doing laundry and cleaning up the house more...eric did a bunch of cleaning and arranging and organizing as my valentine's gift which was very cool... very helpful....
but still feel like so much left to get done!!

i am a lemming...

everyone has a blog so here i have one too so nyah ::pbbt::

i figured with up the impending birth of Pancake i will post updates and random thoughts as i go through the last bits of my preggerness and start my new path of punkymommyhood...

so i will just say i am pretty ready to have my body back to myself...i am stick to tears of doctor's offices and appointments and feeling sluggish and randomly ill or achey...
i have felt fairly well throughout my pregnancy i think but doctor's are overly vigilant or maybe just routinely vigilant i am unsure as i have not done this before....

i will let those readers here who may not know that i previously had high blood pressure before becoming preggers and have since been diagnosed with gestational diabetes... i have been doing fine with both "ailments" and baby is busy and active and getting to be a chunky monkey... but i have missed a ton of work (as a teacher this sucks- my poor assistants and kids!! i rely so heavily on them being able to cope with my annoying absences) and know more about the clinic(s) i have to go to than anything- all of the nurses and doctors know me by name...::blushes::
it's scary....it's a huge clinic not a quaint personal type of clinic where that should naturally occur... but it seems if i can do something spastic (like slip on ice and fall face/belly first in the middle of the parking lot at school) or have weird random occurrences (like slight bleeding or weird stomach ailments) i will... planning seems to mean little these days...
but... on the good side... i have tried to remain very positive and i try to generally feel good as much as i can and pancake seems to be doing well..i hope he remains that way!! ::crosses fingers::

i had an ultrasound yesterday and he wouldn't sit still!! eric and i are still looking for the perfect name so we'll see what happens... no real big winners yet... poor pancake...might get stuck being just pancake hehe.... ::shakes head:: :)

i have felt horrible today and i am going to bed...hopefully i will be able to sleep tonight!! more to come as "interesting" things come up!!