Maynard, Minnesota - Best Personal Ad Ever?

Finally in text form, the infamous personal ad!

Read this in the frame of mind of a single female.. looking for a nice guy.. reading ad after ad of simple "SWM Seeks Down-to-earth, loving, woman, etcetcetc".. in their midwest singles paper.. and then...
this gem appears....


MAYNARD, MINNESOTA
The real Saddam Hussein is 'the king of the north' of Daniel chapter 11, verses 13-19. My text is always the beloved 1611 King James translation of the Holy Bible that was translated in the year 1611 by holy men of God. Hosni Mubarak is 'the king of the south' of those same verses. 'And in those time there shall many stand up against the king of the south:...' from Daniel 11:14. The key word is the word 'many'. Meaning that many nations shall stand up against Egypt. So Iraq will have ally nations on its side when Iraq attacks Egypt. I'm a SWM, 42, who wants to meet a SWF. I had a good time at Norsefest talent contest in Madison, MN on Nov. 12th. I got the correct answer when I squared a 6-digit number in my head without a calculator. That was my talent act that I did on stage. For background music: 'Cest la faute a la vie' by Patricia Kaas. It was recorded in 2003 in France. Another song that I like so much is 'Une question de temps...' Have a happy 2007 new year. I think so highly of Patricia Kaas. I've ordered alot more of her CD's including: 'Tour de charm'.
---
---
I love how he just JUMPS out of the gate to catch your eye... goes on and on... then.. suddenly.. lapses into typical personal ad "I'm a SWM, 42, who wants to meet a SWF." before remembering that he has more interesting things to say.

As Cap'n John put it for the rest of the trip whenever he'd see a female human: "Hey baby.. I got the correct answer when I squared a 6-digit number in my head without a calculator. That was my talent act that I did on stage. Wanna make out?"

missoula...

the way to missoula was extremely smoky- you can see it in the picture above... we even pulled off for a bit to call marcella's friend there to see what was up with the area's forest fires...we stopped at the kum and go which was across from a pump and munch..hehe... so much innuendo in convenience store names hehe..
*(Don't forget the "Pump & Munch"! -Eric)

we got missoula in decent time and the hotel was okay....marcella stayed with her friend kathy and her boyfriend for the night... we went out to eat at a local place that was pretty good... then we went bowling and had to buy socks out of the vending machine hehe...missoula was pretty cool... there were fawns and a mama doe in front of kathy's house.... it was nice there... if i had to be somewhere in montana missoula would be it... there was a funny sign i tried to get a pciture of but couldn't get it in frame in time...it was a bank sign and it said "this loan int free" we thought it was funny...
*(Eric: actually the sign said "IST LOAN INT FREE" which is best said by Cap'n John in a loud, angry Montana voice)

oh and eric and capn picked up a copy of trucker singles...a personals type of paper for truckers and it's just hilarious... i will take a picture and post one of them...freakin scary and funny...mostly kind of scary...or sad?? i dunno but funny to talk about... if that makes any sense at all...hehe...
*(Eric: this was picked up on the way out of Minnesota and "Maynard" was our mascot for the rest of the trip, being quoted at least 15 times a day by John.. we will have a special post just about him soon.)

the drive from missoula to seattle was long but very pretty... i was certainly kind of tired of being in the car... we stopped at some crappy gift shop tourist thing... it was cheesy and i got a really bad montana trucker hat for 4 bucks...sylvan looks dapper wearing it hehe...we went through a lot of mountains that were beautiful and the part idaho we went through was just breathtaking... be a cool place to go back to... the drive through washington after spokane was not real exciting but okay... we did stop in george, washington hehe... we got gas there and there was a banner for a mexican restaurant there...i thought it was amusing hehe...
*(Eric: Wallace, Idaho is one of the coolest towns I've seen anywhere in a long while... mid/small-sized town.. clean.. all alone in the shade of mountains.. interstate highway goes over top of it on a bridge like it wasn't even there. Coeur D'Alene, Idaho was equally awesome overlooking a giant sparkling lake surrounded by more green mountains. Weeeee!)

the apartment is really nice... much nicer than i thought it would be actually.. we have a fireplace and a little back deck with a stream in the backyard... we are at the end of the row of condos sort of nestled in a wooded area...which is nice...not quite so blah...my neighbor seems cool... it's safe and no one breaks into my car which is nice!! heh....
*(Eric: Once I dam up the stream and create a big turtle pond, finish the babycage out back, build the loft/bunkbed, and get Mark to move back in with us.. then it'll be pretty near perfect.)

still getting adjusted to everything and i start work tomorrow...sheesh... time flies... i am sad i won't be home with pancake anymore during the day but at least he'll be with his daddy... and not in day care which i am happy about... my aunt and uncle and cousins are glad to be close and it's nice having family around!!
*(Eric: I'm only babysitting Monday/Wed/Friday, Silas is babysitting Tues/Thurs.)

i hosted a meetin event too... and ..dude... i am soooo dumb sometimes it truly astounds me how i manage to get things done with brain so off sometimes hehe... i thought my event was on wed. so i went to the bar/restaurant and waited for like 3 hours and no one showed... i was ssooo sad... and then i came home and sent an email to attendees asking if i missed people or what and then several people responded like what?? i thought it was tomorrow?? hehe... i went on the wrong day like a douchebag hehe... ::shakes head::; moving has corrupted my brain... but it made for a good ice breaker the next day and the service was good cuz the waiter felt like i was a regular or something hehe.... the event went okay i think... the people were nice and i tried to offer tips to get more folks involved... ::shrug:: we'll see... unfortunately i just won't have the time to devote as i did in minneapolis but i will some stuff... it's nice to get out and the people were very cool i think...
*(Eric: I could go on about how sad she texting me from the restaurant all alone while I was watching the screaming baby, but I'll just simply say.... Liz is -so- dumb. Sooooooooooo... )

anyway... i miss minneapolis a bit... :( it was nice having friends around and be in a familiar place but i am excited to explore this place too..i like the weather so far...which has been cool and comfortable... we'll see what happens in the winter i guess hehe... everyone has to come visit and hopefully i'll get some ideas of where cool places are to go... i'd like to take some ferries out to the islands.. it's so nice ...
*(Eric: When we got here it was cold, dark, and rainy as expected... this continued on and off for the next few days. The recent outbreak of "sunshine" over the past few days has causes locals to hide indoors cowering at the strange glowing sphere hovering in the sky... Liz and I have taken the opportunity to loot/stock up on groceries.)

okay enough for now...must get stuff organized for work tomorrow...
tata
::poof::

okay starting in bismarck....

bismarck is a dismal place... very small town...not especially friendly feeling... just kind of blah...i certainly don't think i'd make a concerted effort to go there again that's for sure... the drive there wasn't too bad...we thought silas cat would be meowing and we'd have to drug him but he was great... just went to sleep and was not a problem at all... ::phew:: the "feasta villa" was okay place to eat and the super cool "Jamaican meh crazy" band was outside when we got there... not one of whom are jamaican... hehe...

then the next morning we were off to billings montana... the drive there was fun and yet it was mostly thorugh boring parts of north dakota... but marcella banana and i stopped to the world's largest holstein cow in salem ND her name is salem sue...she has very realistic veiny udders... hehe... pancake slept through seeing her unfortunately... we ran into eric and cap'n down the road a bit at a gas station... they apparently had a fun experience in richardton (?) ND looking for a coffee shop ...they did not go see the cow... for shame... ::shakes head::

we then went down the "enchanted highway" which was not really exciting... very misleading name... lots of hay... there were supposed to be large metal sculptures but we only saw one that you see on the interstate and then one smaller one that looked like a deer... ::shrugs:: not too exciting...the landscape got nicer toward the western side of ND more hilly and pretty... we went through the "vacation destination of north dakota!" called medora a cheesy western themed tourist trap but it was kind of neat as it was just stuck in the mountains and you could horseback ride and stuff... i guess that'd be fun... if you were from ND... and there wasn't anything for like another 300 miles...

the hotel in billings was pretty cool...it was newer and had free cookies and a little waterpark pool... i thought it had hot breakfast but it was the next hotel that did... i got a lot of flack for that...

billings is also a place i don't really want to go back too... kind of a sad industrial oil town.,.. lots of poverty and just overall kind of blah... cap'n truly believes motley crue was playing some cheesy block party there at a place called the wagon wheel..::shrug:: we can't find any info to tell us otherwise.. a discussion of cheesy 80's music ensued...

then onto missoula...

moving trip abbreviated... i will write a full write up when i get to seattle

okay so off to seattle and the packing commenced with some wonderful friends that came over and lended their brute strength or pancake wielding skills ... thanks everyone!! :)

wooo... we are in... bismarck....

so lets see.... capn john and eric are in the the big truck and me and marcella banana and sylvan pancake and silas the cat are in the echo... phew... i am soo tired....the drive was okay but of course we got off to a later start than planned

...

we ate at the "feasta villa" ... jamaican me crazy was outside smoking... bismarck is a crap hole blah... anyway... i will write more and add my comments to the pics....ttooo tired...

moving

well pancake is not quite 5 months old now... sheesh... and things are good.,..busy but good...
the move will commence on wednesday and hopefully we will be in seattle unscathed by saturday!! :) i will post as we go....
yay watch and wait...

waiting is over!!

well here is sylvan pancake-adventure mcfarland's first picture!! he came into the world via a c section march 15th at 12:47 at 6pounds 12oz. and 19 3/4 inches long... he was rated with 9's on his APGAR scores- a test they give babies right away and 5 minutes after birth measuring basic things like alertness and color... i don't think anyone gets a 10... but he was beautiful and pink and yelling when he was born....

it was a long birthing process as i went in for a routine check up on Tuesday the 13th and the doc told me i had protien in my urine and wanted me to go in for some tests... i went in and then and they decided my blood pressure was going up and i was heading into mild pre-eclampsia so they were going to try to get me to go into more labor as i was having irregular contractions and was a bit effaced and dilated already so they gave me some goo to make me more effaced and hopefully to bring more regular contractions and the stuff takes 12-24 hours to work... so that started everything and i had to be put on several IV fluids and one made me very sick and woozy feeling...then i got to about 7cms dilated and totally effaced and they gave me an epidural and then things just stopped...my epidural eventually wore off and i felt pretty awful for many hours and was in quite a bit of pain then they decided to go ahead with a c section as i was so exhausted and nothing was working even adding pitocin to my meds wasn't speeding anything up and pushing was starting to be out of the question...

the c section went okay... i got kinda sick from the anesthesia but other than that i felt weird but fine... he was born quickly and eric got to see him quickly... eric did a great job and tried to be very supportive even though we were both pretty freaked out...

i was just so happy he was healthy and okay!! he looked beautiful and healthy right away and the doctors all said he was super cute...even for a newborn who aren't always super cute hehe...
it was a long hospital stay and lots of drugs and etc to get him here but once he was born all was good...

we are finally home - we were let go yesterday from the doctor and all is well!! he has his first peds. appt. tomorrow for his check up and hopefully all will be well... he seems good..a little mixed up on sleeping but hopefully we'll get that straight soon...eric and i are pretty tired from trying to soothe him at 4am...but so far he's doing well... and all of the tiredness will wear off as we sink into family life hehe...

it's just totally surreal...
dude
i am a mom!!
crazy!!

waiting

well i am waiting now....just sort of in this holding pattern... he's not as giant as they were worried about which is good but he's still on the big side about 8 pounds... if he gets really big then a csection will be scheduled for the weekend of the 23rd (which is eric's birthday)...and if he is measuring really big in general they may just give me a csection if i go into labor too... they just won't let me progress if he is looking too big... they are worried about his shoulders being too big and him getting stuck... i don't really care how they get him out at this point just so that he's safe and healthy and out of my body!! hehe ...i am getting tired of being preggers but still quite scared about bringing him home and being his mom!! so many things to consider.... but i know he'll be fine and so will i... just makes me a bit nervous...and excited... anyway...hoping to get through one more week of work if possible...i think it would be nice to get paid for one more week... but if not it will be fine...it's up to him now when he wants to put in his first appearance to the world... but all is well...i am no longer horribly sick and i my blood sugar has been good and my blood pressure good... i have my energy spurts and my exhausted spurts but overall doing well... that's good... trying to get stuff done i won't be able to do soon... got to get some homework done too... my work paperwork stuff is pretty wrapped up which is super nice...my sub should be able to breathe a bit easier.... anyway...
not much else happening just waiting now... lalalalalalalala